I could however use your assistance to determine which mysteries to tackle first. So on each of these musings please comment on something for which you would like an answer. Such as ‘Where does thousand island dressing come from?’ ‘Can leopards really beat a computer at chess?’ or ‘Why is world hunger still a thing?’
I shall take the most popular request and ties will be broken by way of their level of intrigue. So please allow me to answer all of the burning questions you have about life the universe and everything.
This is an age old question the roots of which are far reaching and expansive. Around 2094 BCE in the first intermediate period of Ancient Egypt a large stampede of Seth creatures or shas crushed the city of Gamesh the capitol of Sekhmet resulting in a massive setback in her cult. The Seth animal has since been passed off as a jackal and later referred to as a dog bringing the question to it’s modern form. There have been three prominent theories to answer this mystery let us look at them.
Back in the times of Plato shortly before his death 327 BC it was proposed that a certain Jim from accounting had in fact let the dogs out. It was posed by the lesser known Clato that Jim from accounting had been on his way to the restroom and simply got turned around and accidentaly opened the door of Seth releasing the Seth animals. Plato found this to be a preposterous idea and felt that the very question itself was laughable as it was not until recent times for them that dog restraints had been invented and therefore there could not have been any dogs to let out as they could not have been contained. Also Jim from accounting had long been adding trips to his expense account without having actually gone this embezzlement has naturally dwindled the veracity of this claim.
It was not until the late 18th century that we had any other weigh in on this question in any meaningful fashion. Rupert P. Codswallop PhD put forth the notion that perhaps Jim from Accountiing was simply a red herring that it was in fact Esclessius the third. Who was of the cult of Osiris and thus would have a key to the Door of Seth Osiris having been the one to seal away the Seth animals in the first place. The cult of Sekhmet had risen to great power and the cult of osiris had dwindled as a result thereby providing Esclessius the third a motive. However Esclessius the third was seen allegedly at a synagogue at the time of the catastrophe and thus as no one could concieve that he would use something so scandalous as an alibi has prevented this theory from truly taking hold.
The third and final theory and the one to which yours truly holds to is the one proffered by Professor H. H. Grepshaw in the 1900s that the seth animal and it’s containment systems were in fact of an extra terrestrial origin. This would provide the containments that were so lacking at the time and give credence to the later sightings and trials of Jim from Accounting. It is also a possible reason for Esclessius the third to have suddenly changed religion at a moments notice. But then how did the catastrophe occur?
The extraterrestrials, known then as Sky Gods, came back to pick up their seth animal pups and bring them home. The scorching from the boosters used to break earth orbit were more than sufficient enough to obliterate the poor town. Thus the dogs were never in fact let out by anyone. And the world is a better place for it.