Shades of Deceit Pt 1: The Song of Ages

Five strings began to vibrate beneath a set of loving fingers. The vibrations carried themselves about the bar bringing silence to those who heard it. A hush of reverence overcame the crowd as the most hallowed of hallowed traditions was heralded. The song of the ages.
The drinking song was one that had been born out of tales of old that had all been strung together. In fact it held one of the greatest and most in depth catalogs of the history of Lochnor. They first began singing the song when The Bar was opened during the world wide prohibition of alcohol. Unfortunately for the people of Lochnor the guards were actually able to take down almost every other speakeasy and hidden bar joint in the land. But the bartenders of old who recognized the need to spill ones heart out over a stiff drink was as old as the earth itself and would likely last even longer than that, banded together to create The Bar. It was a safe haven for everyone regardless of what everyone else thought of them and it existed in every country and every city in the world. Some say that it even has parts in the realm across the ocean but no one knows if that's really true.

The song was created by its founders to depict the war that brought about the prohibition and the subsequent creation of The Bar. The verses of the song were numerous being that the object of the game was to sing all the way to the end of the song as accurately as anyone could say in the drunken haze because everyone participating would have another round before continuing on. Then whoever was leading the song would start the next verse unless they were no longer capable of standing much less singing, in which case someone who had been singing along accurately would continue the song until there was no one there to finish it.
Needless to say there was rarely a full song sung any given night, but whenever someone got through the last verse and had another round they had the option of adding a new verse and as time went by more and more verses built up and those who were able to stand up to the test of endurance are those with great deeds worth singing about or they at least knew of deeds worth a rhyme or two. Some of the verses were tried and true and sometimes they switched places depending on their importance or how much the people enjoyed them but everyone remembered the proper and original version. The bartenders who were the very best at their trade were the ones who officially kept track but many say that the spirit of the bar had taken on the role of a demi-god and it looked over its own history and the only way to add a new verse is to sing it from the beginning and in the exact order it was written. They say that those who are worthy of a verse will know by the help of the spirit of The Bar. Thus they would know the importance of the song and what their role in it would be.
Tonight was no different than any other night for the Catherbury twins, Elkahn played the score while Calahan made another run for a new verse. He'd yet to achieve it but he'd come very close from what anyone could reckon, after all the Bartenders never said anything other than no you didn't make it. Calahan was in classic form and barreling through as fast as he could in the hopes that it would help him achieve what he viewed as his entitlement for being him. They were currently in a very upbeat accounting of Tanya Trewitt the truculent tramp and how she taught Terry Timmerson the way to talk to terribly tough transvestites toting tons of tawdry tupperware. Then they'd be into a slow cry-in-your-ale verse about Leering Larry the lecherous lump of Lochnor and how he looked for love leaving no village or town or even pasture unmolested.
Calahan had been dancing up a storm as he related the tales. He now jumped onto an empty chair and then a table and as he was finishing up his round after Larry's litany of lust he whipped up into the chorus he noticed that there was a group of fellows playing poker. Playing poker in the middle of what would surely be his time to succeed at adding a verse. So as the tale of Handy Hubert's uprising against Villianous Victor the dastardly despot of Diaspra, Calahan hopped and skipped (though in his state of inebriation it was more like a hip and a skop) over to their table where the fellows were ignoring him in order to show their cards and rake in quite a large pot. And he began an jig upon the table sending the gold and silver flying every which way. The players screamed in outrage as they scrambled to get what belonged to them as well as whatever didn't. Calahan didn't care he even managed to kick several pieces straight into the hands of the bartenders for a tip. Some of the players tried to trip him off the table but they simply got their hands trampled along with the coins.
Calahan was about to be done with the card players having rid them of their entire pot, when he noticed a chap with his legs propped up on a table and a hat pulled low over his eyes so he could sleep. Someone was sleeping during the song. The song. Playing cards was one thing as far as Calahan was concerned. At least they were trying to make an honest bit of money.... Well a bit of money anyway.
But sleeping? No that was inexcusable. In an instant Calahan had maneuvered to the table and kicked the strangers legs off the table. A snort of surprise would have pleased Calahan to no end, but all he got was the strangers legs kicking the table out from under him.
Calahan fell to the ground face first. He rolled over deftly to get up and retaliate but his drink and merriment had softened his abilities and he was left on the ground looking as the stranger stood with his face still hidden to leave. As the stranger turned the torchlight seemed to glint off the man's medallion to show a dazzlingly bright pheonix. By the time Calahan had recovered and managed to stand there was a new song leader and the stranger was nowhere to be found.

The Finer Points of Nuclear Warfare

Recently I sat down with about four of my good friends for a good old fashioned LAN party.  We hadn’t done this for a long time and I was really looking forward to it, especially since we had never done one with Rise of Nations before.  It was looking to be a great night.

So we all gathered with our computers.  Me with Felicia, Dalmac with Rachel, Laquat, Ex, and Anthemis all with their nameless computing entities.  Dalmac and I were quite content to play using the final ‘oh by the way I’m a God’ techs but Laquat, Ex, and Anthemis however were never big fans of the idea due to the intsa-spam ability granted by one of the techs.  So we turned them off thinking that would prevent any difficulties.  However after a little ways into the first match it was realized that we hadn’t turned of the nuclear weapons.  This is a problem.  See while some of the techs are overpowered another one is quite simply there to act as a way of stopping Nuclear Warheads from being used.  So we all agreed that no one would build any Nuclear Weapons.  This agreement in the game was about as effective as it is in real life.

Because the maturity level of the people I was playing with our first two games ended in nuclear holocaust with no one winning.  Literally.  See Rise of Nations has this thing called an Armageddon clock that ticks down every time a nuclear warhead is used.  When it hits zero the game ends.  No one wins.  No cool cinematic.  It’s just over.  Not an ounce of satisfaction to be had.  Now it should be noted that Dalmac not once developed Nuclear warheads in these scenarios.  He’s the only one who didn’t build any ever.  Finally we got a mod to work with the game that removed nuclear warheads entirely.  This way we were finally able to have a proper game.  Here’s how it went.

We all coexisted peacefully for quite some time.  All the way up until the early information age I hadn’t bothered anyone.  I just took a few islands and built up my resources until I pretty much owned the economy.  Much earlier though Laquat and Ex had started a war over a single island and they had never stopped.  Ex had allied with Anthemis and this put Laquat at a severe disadvantage for being in the middle of a two front war.  Dalmac was on the other side of the map from me and his territory had no borders with mine and he was playing nice.  So I made the strategic choice and attacked Laquat.  I managed to take one of his wonders out before he could start whining about everybody attacking him as though his having the largest amount of territory had nothing to do with that scenario.

Since he was moaning a being an all around poor sport about the whole thing I pulled back my forces and made peace with him.  This left me only one logical enemy for me seeing as Ex was located on the opposite side of Laquat from me.  So I took a looksie and realized that to my astonishment Anthemis’ capitol city was sitting on my doorstep.  It wasn’t truly defenseless but it was far from what it needed to be.   So considering this turn of events I swooped in and took his capitol with no problems whatsoever.  He then threw a tantrum about how he didn’t realize that you couldn’t move the capitol once it had been captured.  So in the interest of ‘fair’ (that seems to be a relative term) play I gave him back his capitol.

I GAVE him his capitol back.

I literally pulled all of my forces back and gave him time to build up.  Then I attacked again this time in greater force seeing as he would have at least moved his capitol and built some decent defenses.  He had.  He fended me off that island a number of times.  I continued going after that island because I had been forced to give back the land I took each time using strategy by way of whining.  However whenever I attacked in the exact place the he expected me to attack he defended himself quite well.  I soon got bored with this and found his capitols new location took an island that was defenseless which gave me another straight shot at his capitol.  I once again took it with ease as he was using a counterattack to take one of my islands.  His capitol was mine before he could reroute a single troop.  He then threw another hiss fit about his having a path finding glitch and not being able to land on my island.  This time I stood my ground seeing as I’d been having numerous glitches during my entire campaign against him that were worse than what he was describing.

After this was over Laquat and I made a formal alliance because he would have thrown a hissy fit if I’d taken his capitol which was in fact also on my doorstep.  Dalmac and Ex were the only ones who were good sports about it all.  I’m realizing that perhaps I need to find different people to play Rise of nations with.  With the exception of Dalmac.

My Life As It Should Have Been Ch 1.2 Cops and Robbers

Once I began to walk my life became infinitely more interesting due to an old Chinese man who laid upon me two of their most ancient curses the first of which being ‘May you live in interesting times.’  This would most certainly be the case since as other children were playing Cops and Robbers I lived it.  I lived then in a sleepy little suburb known as Hurst Texas.  If ever there was a town that could be expected to be of no consequence it was Hurst.  It’s not some small town out in the boonies.  You see if it were then there would always be the possibility of a corporation or a super villain setting up camp there and creating God and I only know what.  No Hurst is a suburb of the Dallas Ft Worth metroplex.  Big enough to warrant watching but small enough to not generate it’s own noteworthiness.  It did however have a juvenile criminal element like no other.

For whatever reason Hurst had no way of properly dealing with it’s toddling crime lords, so that duty fell to me.  You see the children were quite clever with their work.  What they did was never a crime punishable by the laws of Hurst, but they were nonetheless a dastardly lot.  Daycare were riddled with dealers hocking everything from pixi sticks to licorice whips.  Not a day went by that some innocent child was strung out on Warheads and sour patch kids.  The staff at the daycare did what they could but that wasn’t good enough.  It never had been.  I had to grow up.  I had to grow up fast.

It all started when I got to my daycare on the first day.  My parents had told me so many things about how wonderful it would be.  I was excited.  When we pulled up and I got out and saw another boy just arriving and thought I ought to make my first friend.  I walked straight over to him held out my hand and introduced myself and requested his friendship while offering mine.  He accepted my hand looking at me telling me his name was Zachariah.  Zachariah Hardwick.  Yes my nemesis began as my friend.  All the best ones do.

As we entered the daycare with our families Zachariah and I were greeted by a horrific scene.  Children were everywhere running rampant, no order or law, just utter and complete chaos wherever ones eyes landed.  Little boys and little girls giving kisses for a little box of jujubes.  Others were knocking back juice boxes while little pieces of cardboard were placed on their arms only to be pulled away revealing their newly affixed gang affiliations.  I begged my parents not to leave me here.  Anywhere but here.  All they did was insist that I would like it after being there a day or two.  Zachariah had just as much luck with his parents.  We were alone.

Ch 1.3 The Lovely Rochelle

My Life as it Should Have Been, Chapter One Pt1

The Birth and Early Childhood
    Looking back on it now I realize that my birth was quite extraordinary.  It was almost as if I knew what my mother would do for me in the years to come, so I crawled out as quickly as I could to save her the pain of a long labor.  It was an arduous journey but I made it.  It would later be found that I was in fact one of the fastest births ever recorded.  That title is still held by a chap named Yusain Bolt. 

    In my struggle to get out of the uterus I strained my body beyond what it was meant to be capable of.  I spent many months in the hospital undergoing physical therapy before I was able to continue with my life, or start it rather.  During this trying time Marianne, a truly adorable nurse helped me keep fighting.  So many times I was ready to give up but she cooed me to keep going.  I became quite taken with her.  She was my first love.  I know that many say that such romantic attachments do not happen at that age due to the lack of hormones, but my love for her was not a choice, it was who I was, and I would never choose not to believe in it. 

    During these months I would do far more than simply find myself in love.  It is also the time where I first met my nemesis.  Yes my Nemesis. The now surely infamous Zachariah Hardwick.  He was born about three months after I was.  By then I was far better and had been moved out of ICU and back with the rest of the children in the maternity ward.  And there lay Zachariah.  I knew in an instant that he would be trouble.  It’s easier you see for children to pick up on these things.  After all that’s when we are not besieged yet with so many prejudices and quick conclusions.  I was astounded by the depravity he would be capable of.  It was on that day that I swore to keep that one from destroying the lives we hold so dear.

    My time in the hospital was drawing to a close.  I would have to say goodbye to my love Marianne.  I wanted to ask her for her hand but I was not blessed yet with the social aptitude I now possess, and was only able to burble incoherently.  Thankfully no one seemed to notice that that was not my intent.  Perhaps it is best that I did not marry sweet Marianne.  It is likely that our age difference would have been an insuperable barrier.  But thankfully our paths would meet again.

Ch 1.2 Cops and Robbers

My Life as it Should Have Been, Intro

Selective Memoirs:
My Life as it Should Have Been

A wishful autobiography by:
Michael DuPuy


Introduction 

    At twenty one years of age most would say that I am not qualified to write an autobiography.  This is because I am neither one of great note, nor am I one of some great untold deed.  Many would say that I simply haven’t done shit.  Those who believe these things are not wrong.  In fact empirical evidence would suggest that they are right.  To these accusations I respond with a question: what is it that makes a man?  To this question I provide an answer: a pair of testicles.  With this in mind I pose another question: what gives a person meaning, definition, and purpose?

    Many would say that it is defined by the choices one makes.  They say that definition is imposed by the actions one takes.  A doctor is a doctor if they go to medical school.  They are a good doctor if they pass medical school.  An actor is an actor if they debase themselves onstage for the pleasure of others.  They are a good actor if they do so on screen for all others.  Yet it is unclear how it is that one arrives at the ability to make these decisions.  We have many people who are defined by helping others become defined.  How do we do this?  How do we choose our definition?  We are told that we must be true to ourselves and fulfill our purpose, but if we lack a definition, a meaning, a purpose, how then are we supposed to be true to it?  This would suggest that we have had a definition before this.  We have in fact been making choices our entire lives.  From the moment we are born.  To make these choices we must have some form of identity imparted from the moment of birth.

    In light of this development I posit that who we are, our very being and therefore our noteworthiness, lies not in the choices we have made, but rather in the choices we might have made.  It is with this understanding that I have undertaken the journey of writing this autobiography.  The true nature of who I am has been obscured.  I seek to correct this.  So please read on knowing that this is who I truly am.  I hope you enjoy My Life As It Should Have Been.

Ch 1

A few notes before we get to the meat of it.

few things. Firstly before I get into the meat of this post I simply have to send all of you to go look at what a particular dumbass did.


http://mygadgetlife.co.uk/start/?p=145

I love how so many people forget that there are other people who use the internet and that the people with power over your job and whether or not you keep it do in fact count as people.

Now for the other things. For anyone who is new to this blog it's going to be a mixture of political and personal posts. By personal I don't mean that I'll be using it to tell you how crappy my life is. No I'm going to be posting some of my fiction writing such as the (hopefully) ongoing posts of 'My Life as it Should Have Been' (a fictional auto biography of my life). I won't be posting emo poetry written in Jr High. I've destroyed my few forays into that genre. I may do some poetry though if I feel like it.

For those of you joining me from either Facebook or Livejournal you read that right. I am in fact adding political posts to my new blog. I hope to have them mesh well with the things I write and my usual writings.

All that said I look to have 'My Life as it Should Have Been' up soon. The first post of it may actually be done today. Look for my first political blog around Tuesday.

The White Flag of NaNoWriMo 2009

I write this in a most intriguing mood. I’m raising my hands in surrender. (I use surrender here for lack of a better term.) I do not believe that I shall make the 50k wordcount deadline for November this year. I know what many of you will say. But it’s not over yet. You still have time. I’ve heard of people getting 80k in a night! And Don’t give up! (NOTE: while writing this my tweet about my resignation on Twitter has already elicited responses that I have just mentioned.)

I am currently at 16,964 words. I have roughly 40 hours to complete a little over 33,000 words. While it is not the requisite 50,000 the OLL wants it is far more than I have ever done before now. Normally if I were just going about my usual day like when I started this trek I would have been quite displeased with myself for slacking off so much and just getting in my own way (Which admittedly there was some of that) I do not hate myself for anything of the sort. The reason my writing stopped so sharply is because I just got a job. I now work at Wal Mart. Thus I cannot get mad at myself for slacking off, after all you can ask anyone on the night shift and they’ll tell you it’s impossible to keep from working without getting fired. My paycheck also lets me know that it isn’t all for naught.

I do in fact hold my head up high as I write this (Not literally, I tend to look at the keyboard as I type and typing at eye level would be inconvenient at best) for I have done so much more this November than any November before. In fact I don’t believe that I have ever broken the 5k barrier in NaNoWriMo before. This means that I have already achieved 3 times my best NaNo Wordcount. Also, I do not believe that there is a single work of mine regardless of how long I’ve been working on it or what I was writing that has ever neared the almost 17k words upon which I now sit (Also I don’t intend to stop writing it just because I won’t make the 50k deadline) . I will not feel ashamed of that. I shall in fact hold it in front of myself as proof that I can indeed do better than I have been doing. And I shall do better. Not just next year, but this December as I begin my installments of My Life as it Should Have Been.

I hope you will join me as I go through my theoretical life. It shall be filled with action and romance and anything and everything else you can think, and comedy. Oh the comedy. Thank you for reading. I will likely not post again until I have begun My Life as it Should Have Been in December. Until then:

Later Days,

Trelk