Where does Thousand Island Dressing come from?

The origins of thousand island dressing is one fraught with desperation peril and corruption at the highest levels. The history books would have you think that it is a mere salad dressing many a time used on burgers as a secret sauce or perhaps russian dressing as they did indeed attempt to take credit for it. But I tell you now the true origins of Thousand Island Dressing. It all begins with the original thousand islands located in the Atlantic ocean.
The chief island and the largest was known as Atlantis. They ruled over the Thousand Islands with an orihalcum fist. But they could not prevent their subjects wishes entirely. Their soil was only good for growing a few vegetables and even then they could not produce enough food to sustain their populace despite their awe inspiring technology. Due to their need to demolish their dependency on foreign food they found a way to grow lettuce in abundance. Now that they had their much needed source of food they could simply fish for their meat and simply use spices from foreign lands. Their much needed answer had come at last.
So they planted all of their fields with the new abundantly growing lettuce. There was great joy in the land to know that they would be free of the foreigners grip upon their nation. Great joy that is until the crops came in and all tasted of the lettuce. The nation of the thousand islands suffered greatly as they all ran to get as much foreign food as they could. After all they had been so confident in their abilities to use the lettuce that they dared not think to order any before.
The emporrer was distraught at the new found strife in the land. There seemed to be little to do. He would lose all of the nations holdings if he did not manage to change the populaces minds on lettuce. He would then be dethroned by way of monetary holdings. It was decided long before that the rules of succession would be passed down by way of wealth. It was thought that this would prevent any family from being killed in a single battle and therefore always preserve the title of emporrer and prevent any civil wars.
In order to keep his throne he had to convince everyone that not only would the lettuce bring them independence from foreign food but that it was delicious as well. So he set his scientists to come up with a substance that would be only allowed on lettuce. They came up with the original compound for Thousand Island dressing. It was delicious it could smother the taste of lettuce and most importantly it was cripplingly addictive. The Emporrer then declared that it was illegal to consume the dressing on anything but lettuce.
With this combination there was little chance to lose and before long everyone was eating lettuce in record numbers. It was a veritable coup for the Emporrer and the Atlanteans as a whole. And the rule for not using the dressing on anything other than lettuce can be seen in the myriad burger joints who refuse to admit that their very special secret sauce is no more than an ancient crack de creme.

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